Water Wench
by Meeknchic
Summary: What happens when the Fire Prince crosses paths with the brazen waterbender called Katara? Mayhem.
1. Part I: The Tease

Part I

_The Tease_

She stood, arms crossed against her chest, in the threshold of the doorway. Zuko's view, and passage into the old farmhouse, was blocked by the unforthcoming woman. She wore a simple tunic and breeches over her bronzed skin. A mane of dark hair framed her smirking face. Her blue eyes danced with challenge.

"You won't find the avatar here," she attested.

"Why not?" Zuko sensed he was about to become privy to a joke.

"_Because_ I don't fuck men with a hundred years on me."

Beside Zuko, a man in uniform snickered at the rebuttal. Zuko narrowed his eyes and stalked up to the woman.

"Do you realize who you are speaking to?"

The woman cocked her head. "You're either the dishonored Fire Prince, or someone with an uncanny resemblance."

"Uncanny?" He decided to insult her. "That's a big word coming from a-" he gestured at the modest structure "-small household."

"I throw one in now and then."

They fell silent; whilst sizing each other up. It was the Prince who spoke next.

"My men and I will search your house," he insisted. "If the avatar is here-and I have reason to believe you have him crouching in your cellar-you will be brought to justice alongside him. So heed my warning woman: it is no secret you have fugitives hidden in these walls. I suggest you speak up before any evidence is found against you."

"And what is your idea of justice, Prince Zuko?" she asked through her characteristic smirk. The woman sauntered closer. "Would you throw me in your dungeon?" A muscle in Zuko's jaw visibly twitched. With a practiced vigilance, the woman registered his body's betrayal. Her sly smile deepened to a grin. Zuko felt a surge of anger; as though he had just been bested.

"I would deliver you to my father," was his cold answer.

"Then you will sorely disappoint him." She beckoned Zuko indoors. "After you."

He pushed past her into the foyer.

...

"Clever bitch."

"Too clever." Zuko grumbled. He surveyed the land in frustration once more-as if the avatar would suddenly materialize amidst the rows of cabbage crop. "The avatar is hidden here somewhere, Chang. I can feel it."

"Are you sure it's the _avatar_ you're feeling? I could have sworn you gave the girl your I'm-a-princeling-so-get-down-on-me look."

Zuko glared at his confidante. "I have never encountered such an impudent woman," he scoffed.

"Ha! I knew you liked to be dominated!" Chang grinned and delivered a slap to Zuko's backside.

Zuko fumed. He grabbed the front of his friend's shirt. Flames from Zuko's fists licked at the fabric-scorching it black. "You're sarcasm is fruitless because _I_ don't fuck peasants." Zuko shoved the man into the rutted dirt path.

Chang lay where he fell, the grin still occupied his face and he shook his head in exasperation. "That..._prejudice..._is fruitless. You haven't lost your virginity until you've sowed your seed with a country girl."

Zuko tried his best to ignore Chang's reasoning of _why _this was the case. He looked back over his shoulder. In the distance, the farmhouse appeared almost picturesque; its run-down qualities were not visible from afar. From a field away, Zuko could sense the icy gaze of the woman. They had left the house empty-handed. Her victory was expressed in a knowing silence-so infuriating-he would have preferred her to gloat. She watched the stony-faced Prince retreat down the porch steps. In his last glimpse of the woman, she was perched on a bannister; silent and watchful as a cat. Zuko wondered whether her salaciousness was a facade.

Regardless, he continued to stomp in the direction of his camp.

Chang sprung to his feet and jogged after the huffing Prince. "So that's it? We're just going to walk away? Even though you are still convinced she's harboring the avatar?"

Zuko adopted a commanding tone. "We are going to watch her and wait until she gives away the avatar's location."

"What if she doesn't lead us to him? She _has_ managed to keep a score of children hidden from our search of the property along with an ancient airbender."

"If she is indeed clever we will smoke them out."

"If you torch the house, they'll be fending for themselves in the nearest town. She'll take refuge at the nearest brothel." Chang deduced.

"You're not thrilled at the prospect?"

"Hey, I don't pay to stray."

"You sympathize with her because she is essentially you-but with breasts." Zuko scoffed.

"Ah, so you noticed."

"Yes, I noticed, and she's all yours."

"No way! Knowing my father, she's possibly my illegitimate sister. Her and I could piss off our ancestors-unleash something freaky from the spirit world."

Zuko sighed in annoyance. "Remind me why I keep you around."

"That's simple," Chang quipped, "I point out the women you service yourself too."

Chang found himself lying in the dirt again.


	2. Part II: Great Bail of Fire

Part II

Great Bail of Fire

"You know, I expected more from a stakeout," mused Chang whilst gnawing on a turkey leg.

"What did you imagine to witness? An orgy?"

"Why not? It's the country folk who have a strong sense of community." Chang uncorked the stopper on his canteen. "All we've seen her do so far is empty a slop bucket," he said dejectedly.

Both Chang and Zuko were stationed behind a large bail of hay in a field behind the farmhouse. Zuko twisted the dial on his telescope. He peered through it for the umpteenth time. They had been watching for the Avatar and his outspoken accomplice since sunrise.

"She's back," Zuko reported.

"Oh?" Chang inquired reaching for more of the bird he had nicked earlier from the farm's coop. "What is she up to now? Weeding?" Chang snorted to indicate his boredom.

"She's...milking a goat."

"Finally! Give me that!" Chang snatched the telescope from Zuko's hands. "Now there is some material I can work with."

"Chang! I need you to focus! We're here to capture the Avatar."

"Baa!" was Chang's reply.

"Give me back my scope," Zuko warned through clenched teeth.

"Nuh ugh, man. Finders keepers-get your own peeper."

"That _is_ mine!" Zuko attempted to snatch it back, but Chang held it out of reach. "You're acting like those silly girls paraded around court!" Zuko exclaimed in frustration. Chang batted his eyelashes-feigning femininity. He stood with a hand on his hip and the other dangling the telescope.

"Come-and-get-it big boy!" Chang singsonged.

Zuko lunged at his tormentor. The two wrestled in the grass for the prized piece of brass. Zuko managed to pin down Chang by straddling him. The man on the bottom had taken to emitting girlish shrieks of delight.

"Shush! She'll hear you," Zuko whispered forcibly.

Chang's wriggling ceased and his eyes widened in alarm. Flames were licking away at the bail of hay. The inconspicuous were now blazingly conspicuous. "You have got to stop setting things on fire man," he said.

"-Needs salt," mused a female. Both Chang and Zuko jumped in their sudden awareness of the woman's presence. She had torn off a haunch of the roasted bird strung over a makeshift spit. She stood chewing her poultry. Zuko reddened under her gaze and steeled himself for a jibe.

After picking up the eye scope at her feet, she repeatedly tapped it against her palm studying the two scouts before her.

"This was-" she looked from the flaming haystack to the boys in their compromising positions "-illuminating."


End file.
